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| Q: | I am in a relationship with a woman who I am deeply in love with. I feel that marriage is a very distinct possibility at this point, however we are in disagreement about what levels of physical intimacy are appropriate. It centers around the Bible saying to "avoid sexual immorality" we are not sure whether to interpret that as in the physical act of sex is wrong without marriage or any sort of physical contact (touching, etc) is prohibited. What is your guidance, is the sin in the act of sex or are there other things that are wrong simply of themselves, unrelated of their effect on the desire to have sex? Also, what is the stance on sharing a bed together even if sex or any other intimacy does not occur? | ||||||
| A: | Perhaps the answer to your last question about sharing a bed without sex or intimacy will help to answer the others. How can you do that without lust or an evil desire if you love the woman? It seems like such a naïve question to ask. You are putting yourself right in the path of temptation. It does not make sense as a Christian to be willing put yourself in the path of temptation that way. It does not make common sense to even non-Christians, because I have asked them that question. Jesus said: Matthew 5:27-28 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” In the Epistle to the Hebrews we hear God saying: Hebrews 13:4 “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.” If sexual sins are in the mind as well as in the physical act, I believe that you are asking your questions about how far we can go in love-making without sinning from the wrong perspective. Instead of seeking the loopholes in the Law of God, why not ask: How can my girlfriend and I serve God with our bodies as two people who love each other? I encourage you to direct your attention to God and serving God. God’s blessings as you struggle against sin and temptation! | ||||||
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