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| Q: | Is it ok for wives of the voting members to sit in on voters' meetings as long as they do not participate in the voting? Is it ok for them to sit next to their spouses if they are permitted to sit in on the voters' meetings or should they sit towards the back? Is it permissible to allow them to be involved in discussions? | ||||||
| A: | There is no scriptural reason why women cannot be present at congregational voters' or council meetings, but as a regular practice, this may not solve the perceived problem. To be present at such meetings, but to be unable to debate or vote may increase frustration and hurt feelings rather than to decrease them. It may not lessen offense and anger on the part of women who feel excluded from the government of the congregation. Congregations which have tried this practice report various degrees of satisfaction. From discussions which I have had in various conferences about this, I am concerned that some of the congregations that have been the most satisfied with this practice have achieved that satisfaction only by removing any restrictions or cautions concerning the participation of the women in debate. This is getting on dangerous ground and caution must be exercised. The purpose of debate is to sway opinion, to challenge and refute those who hold opposing views. A person cannot truly and freely participate in debate without challenging and contradicting the views of other parties in the debate. It is difficult to see how women can do this in harmony with Paul's commands in 1 Corinthians 14 that women are to be silent and not to ask questions in the meeting of the church. There Paul is applying the principle in a situation similar to the exchange of views which takes place in the decision-making processes in congregational meetings. Debate very often involves more challenge and assertion of authoritative viewpoints than the actual process of voting. Even questions asked during debate are often implied challenges to the views of others. Submission to headship, not teaching men, being silent and not asking questions are hardly compatible with free participation in debate. For these reasons, it is difficult to see how women could participate in the debate in governing bodies of the church in a way which would follow Paul's directions in 1 Corinthians 14. Congregations can take many steps to insure that the voices of all of the congregation are heard. In Christian decision making which aims at best meeting the needs of all of the members of the congregation, including the minority, it would seem that gathering and assessing the needs and desires of the members could best be done prior to the decision-making. The responsible governing body should make decisions on the basis of an informed concern for all of the members of the congregation, not merely on the basis of personal preference. The congregation may use mechanisms such as questionnaires, family discussions, home visitations or informative meetings to obtain input about the needs and desires of all the members. If the men of the congregation are to carry out their headship in a God-pleasing way, they will make sure that they hear and consider the needs of all of the members of the congregation. Whether having every one able to attend the meetings will lessen tension or increase it will depend on the attitude and motivation of all of the people involved. Congregations will have to consider their situation in weighing what approach will best lead to harmony, cooperation, and understanding in their midst while at the same time upholding the principles of Scripture. | ||||||
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