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| Q: | I have an issue that is minor but that has come up in my marriage from time to time. I am from a Scandinavian background and my wife is from a family of midwestern German farmers. It was common in my family for the men to swim, use saunas, etc. without clothes or bathing suits when only men were around. This was very natural for us and I find it difficult to understand why this is such a problem for other people. Recently, my wife and I were vacationing and camping in a secluded area. While hiking, I came upon a peaceful area and decided to sunbathe on a rock. There was no chance that anyone would have seen me. My wife came upon me and scolded me so severely that it has made me bitter toward her. I believe that my wife is being prudish and that she has a warped view of the human body. Why would it be wrong to sunbathe naked in the middle of nowhere? | ||||||
| A: | You explain that you and your wife come from different backgrounds and that this affects your views regarding sunbathing and nudity. Not only does she need to understand where you are coming from, you also need to understand how she feels about the situation. She was not raised with the same feelings and views that you have. Another important thing to consider here is that within marriage our body does not belong to us alone but also to our marriage partner. It appears that she is uneasy with your nude sunbathing because you are her husband. Your body also belongs to her and she would not want others to see you naked. You indicate that this likely would not happen since you only do this in secluded areas, yet there is still the possibility that someone else could see you. Rather than being bitter toward your wife, I would encourage you to discuss this with her. Explain again where you are coming from and that you did not mean to hurt her by your actions. Explain how you felt hurt by her strong reaction to the situation. Also listen again to how she feels about the matter. And make it your goal to arrive at an understanding that takes into account both of your views and helps to celebrate the one flesh that the two of you share within marriage. | ||||||
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