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| Q: | I am very frustrated with my marriage. I have a husband that has gifts but sits on them. He's miserable in his job but doesn't force himself to further educate due to fear of failure (my own assessment). He also has an addiction to tobacco that was promised to me during our engagement that he was quitting and now we're 4 years into our marriage and it's still a problem--and he wants to stop it but only his way--this costs us in our marriage and in our pocketbook. He can find time to make it to church softball games (as a player) but will not make sure he makes it to church on a Wednesday night (never feels good, too tired, whatever!) - This is the head of our household, my covering. He asks God For wisdom but doesn't spend time reading the very book that gives it, and then as a result doesn't function in it. In ways I feel like he's a heavy chain around my neck full of empty promises and unmet expectations and have considered separating. Am I wrong for this? | ||||||
| A: | I can see why you are feeling frustrated in your marriage. It is not turning out the way you thought it would and the way God wants it to be functioning. Judging from what you have written, however, there does not appear to be biblical warrant for separation at the present time. There is no doubt that you are experiencing some big difficulties in your marriage; but it appears they are of the sort that, if both of you desire to work at it, can be overcome. Separation usually doesn't help to overcome such problems. I am assuming that you desire is to make your marriage what it should be. It would be good for you and your husband to sit down with someone, such as your pastor, and work through these issues. If your husband refuses to do this, I would encourage you to speak on your own to your pastor about the situation; for it appears that it will be difficult for things to get better without some help. | ||||||
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