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| My husband was recently asked to be a sponsor at the baptism of his nephew. His half brother who asked him grew up Lutheran, the mother of the baby being baptized is Catholic; and they are engaged although it sounds as though they are not planning on getting married for several more years. As my husband hung up the phone after being asked, he realized that the church mentioned for the baptism is Catholic. Since neither of us agree with the teachings of the Catholic church, how does he decline the offer to be a sponsor in a loving way that does not come across as arrogant? We understand that by partaking of sponsorship, we are silently saying we agree with the doctrine of the church in which this child will be reared. We certainly don't want to step on any toes but feel very strongly about this issue.
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| In responding to your relatives you might first indicate that you are happy that they are having their child baptized. They are showing concern for the spiritual needs of their child. And you can also tell them you are honored that they have asked you to serve as a sponsor for the child. You also are concerned about the child's spiritual needs.
But this is where you need to ask them some questions. Do they--and the Roman Catholic Church--expect that you promise to bring up the child in the Roman Catholic faith? If so, this is something you cannot promise. Is it possible that you only serve as a witness to the baptism? If you agree to this, you will have to be careful about your involvement in the baptism service. Often the Roman Catholic service will incorporate the baptism into the liturgy and service much more than is done in the Lutheran church. Certainly as a sponsor and perhaps even as a witness you may be placed in an uncomfortable situation in the service.
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