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| Q: | I have been in the WELS church all my life, and I love it. I attend a WELS church camp every year where I am a counselor and those are the best days of the year. I don't drink alcohol because I believe that as Christians we have to lead a good example for others. I am in college and burdened with a lot of stress. Four weeks ago I began to sleep all the time. I finally went to see a doctor about it two weeks ago. He said I was depressed and asked if I had thoughts of suicide. I have and the only thing that stopped me was that I might go to hell. If i am depressed and cannot make use of my problem solving part of my brain, and I should commit suicide what will happen to my soul? I don't want to go to hell. And I'm not asking you if I can commit suicide either. But I might. My parents are both WELS and my mother would be torn and she would except that I would be in hell. If you ask anyone that knows me they would tell you I'm the complete opposite of a depressed person. I have to pretend to be happy all the time, but I'm not. I have never been farther from God and yet be so close at the same time. Lately I have been reading more of the Bible then ever. I feel so alone right now like Job, and I know that Job was a test; but I don't think I am strong enough to make this test. I never thought anything could make me lose my faith but this is a great burden that I carry. Please help. I don't feel comfortable talking to my pastor about this. He is a great guy, but I don't want him to see me so weak. | ||||||
| A: | Thank you for your openness and honesty. If you do not have an appointment to see your doctor tomorrow, make one--and keep it! You do not say that you are taking any medications which the doctor prescribed. It takes several weeks for those medications to begin working. Believe me, they will work and help you. You are right in putting your trust in God. He will never leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13). You are right to fear suicide because of your fear of hell. Suicide is self-murder. Since there is no opportunity to repent in most cases, we human beings conclude that the person dies impenitent. As God reveals his judgment to us, that calls for hell as an eternal punishment. You are right in understanding that suicide is a selfish thing to do that will hurt others like your mother dramatically. No one should contemplate suicide and think that loved ones will be happy to see them gone from this earth in that way. I earnestly and strongly encourage you to go to see your pastor right away. This is why God called him to be a pastor. God did not call him only to serve those who think they have no problems and no troubles. He called him to serve all of His sheep--even the depressed and the troubled--especially the depressed and the troubled. He has the Word of God to offer to you as a help for you. He won’t judge you as being weak. He will judge you as a child of God in need of God’s help. He will offer that help to you through God’s Word. You are God’s child. He made you his child at your Baptism. Never doubt his love and his help for you. God was in Christ reconciling the world unto himself (II Corinthians 5). You are a part of the world for whom Christ came to live and die and rise again. The love of God for you will never leave you. "If God is for you, who can be against you? (Romans 8). Rejoice in his love! Trust in his love! Right now! Call your pastor! Call your doctor! | ||||||
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